OKAY.
There have been a couple of questions presented to me, I will answer them as honestly as possible.
On the ones I do not answer honestly, you will be able to tell. I think. I hope.

Gramma Cathy asks:

Did Gavin and Susie tell you they watch Carter?
Yes, they did. I have one concern , though, they leave beers on the table outside, are Kristian and John sure they want to leave Carter over there?

Bernie and Gramma Pat ask:

What's the deal with the smiling pig heads?
They are in the "Meat Market" picture I posted on the web albums. Those are the most tame. There were plenty more, which would have been deemed distasteful. If you want more, let me know.

Are you going to get a tree?
No. I don't want to get something I will only use once. I will save my holiday spirit for next year.

Are you going to decorate?
I bought a map of Seoul for the wall. Does that count? I will decorate my classroom, for the kids, ya know? Like I said, I would rather save my Christmas spirit for a year and go completely overboard when I am there next Christmas.

Are you going to hang mistletoe in your flat?
No. I would have no reason to use it. No one here I want to kiss. There will be mistletoe all over my house next year, though. I will give detailed accounts of those experiences next year.

What about hanging it on the cats?
My (real) mom always said to stay away from strange cats, they could be sick, have rabies, fleas, or anything else. And my (real) dad said....nevermind.

Is Kim chi really that tasty or you being politic?
It IS good. Now. It will taste different everywhere. It's like anything, the recipe changes with every little old lady. It can be spicy, it can be not-as-spicy, it can be not-so-spicy, or kind of-spicy. If you have ever eaten Gallumpkis, it is similar. The cabbage is fermented in the Kim chi pots for a few months and it has ginger, garlic, onion, tomatoes, and anything else in the cupboard. Korean sauerkraut, of you will. Not quite like sauerkraut, but close.

At your size, do you feel like Gulliver in Lilliput?
No, not at all. There are taller Munchkins in OZ and there are taller Koreans here. I have seen a couple of men as tall or taller than me. A couple of women approach my height, too.

I find it funny Bernie and Gramma Pat are always sending me questions. At their age, they still want to learn. Good for them. It will fight Alzheimer's off for a little while longer!!!!! I guess the rest of already know everything about Seoul. Will you please enlighten me?

Veronica asks:

I still can’t figure out WHY you went, or HOW you got recruited to do this. And, of course, if you have a girlfriend, why in the world would you go to the other side of the world?????

First off, Veronica, thank you for your inquiries. Knowledge should always be hunted. I will answer these questions individually.

Why?
Well, Veronica, sometimes in this life, you need more. You WANT more. And, no offense to my former bosses nor my co-workers, I felt I was wasting away and wasting myself. Although I loved the people I met, I was about ready to snap. I wanted something I could call my own. I wanted something I could do for myself. I wanted and experience only I know about. Selfish, I know, but it was necessary for ME. I could not envision myself doing what I was doing for much longer. I am in a place which is good for me, right now. I am gaining experience, seeing a culture of which I have NEVER been exposed, and I am TEACHING. That's why I went back to school, TO TEACH.

How?
It's not what you know, it's WHO you know. I posted my resume and got contacted, interviewed, interviewed again, and offered the position I have. I love what I am doing.

And if you have a girlfriend, why in the world would you go to the other side of the world?
I do have a girlfriend and she is the best thing that has ever happened to me. She wants me to do this. Do we miss each other? YES. Is it hard for me to be away? YES. BUT, the small sacrifices of a year will make me a better partner. Who wouldn't want that? We will have a lot longer than a measly year together. She has done the travel for work gig, so she 'gets it'. She actually encouraged me. Knowing full-well I would benefit greatly from my time here. She loves me, what can I say?

Especially to a country that has different characters for their alphabet, and is not too far from a crazy dictator who has the capability to blow up the world??
The Characters are different and the language barrier is a hindrance, but what I am gaining for myself and my future is worth every moment I am here. I didn't want to be a closed World person, I wanted to expand my horizons. I will be a better person when I am finished. I am not worried about the North. America lived in much worse times, this is no different. You have Castro a boat ride away from Miami and you don't worry about him, do you? The South Koreans are not worried about it and they are the ones who SHOULD be. If they ain't, I ain't. One should not live their life in fear of what COULD happen. If that were the case, we'd all be doing "The duck and cover" everyday.

And is there a hint anywhere on your blog that reveals why “Axton Kinneman?”
Nope.

Does anyone else at Jalapenos know?
Nope.
Thank you, Veronica, for your questions. they were good questions and it only took a moment.

Doc Prouty inquires:

Are there any decorations your way?
Yes, there are. The city has them all over. There is a good amount of Christians here and Christmas is celebrated. Not by all, but the is a feeling of Christmas. Not like 'Candy Cane Lane' or the side streets off Ward Parkway, The Plaza, but they're here.

Are you Learning Korean?
Yes, I am. I am taking a short course at my school every Monday and Tuesday. Right now it is the basics, reading the characters, recognizing them, and writing them. This will lead to a speaking of Korean. I will not be proficient, by no means, but I will be able to communicate.

Gigi wonders:

Can you shop for food on the base?
No, I cannot. It's just like any base in the States. Right, Andy? We tried to go across Miramar one afternoon, the Marine is still cussing us out. You have to have a sponsor or you have to go with a service person.

Roger asks me:

When did you attend the Writer's Workshop at the University of Iowa?
I did not attend any workshop there, but I have gone to Iowa Football games and Lute Olsen's Basketball Camp. Does that count? Vonnegut spent some time in Iowa City, maybe just being in the same state as him, made me smart.

Are you writing a book and we are all just pawns in the ultimate scheme of 'how I traveled around the world, got paid for it and created a 'must read' for the masses'?
Maybe

Robyn wants to know:

Have you experienced the 'unexplained' smell?
Yes, I have. I cannot explain it. I have theories of to the source. 1.) Seaweed. It smells of that, a little. 2.) Oysters. Could be, might be. 3.) Octopus. Maybe, could be. 4.) Any of the different kinds of fish they sell on the street. And Yes, some of it is ON the street.

Mickey demands to know:

Who are you hanging out with?
Well, Mickey, I am hanging out with the two other teachers I work with and my boss. The two teachers and I went to Sinchon last night (Saturday, December 16th), drank A LOT and got home early in the morning. Bars close when the last person leaves. The bar around the corner form the school, Jjokki Jjokki, has asked us to leave a couple of times. Chris, one of the teachers, and I go out and explore Seoul and see different sights. He is just as interested in checking all the stuff out as I am.

What are your students like?
I have a plethora of ages to teach and talk with. My class ages from 5-6 years old, middle school ages, and adults, older than I am (yes, OLDER. Believe or not, there are people older than I am). I teach from a couple of different books, but the adults like to 'free talk', to keep their English current and we talk about a variety of subjects. They ask questions of me and I give them new words. They are the most fun, but I have acquired some little Korean girlfriends. They make me melt when they smile at me and I become a ball of jell-o, they can be fun, at times, but they are 5-6 years old, so they have their moments!!!!

Do you talk to Debby?
Yes, I do. We talk through Yahoo! Messenger and now that I have web cam, she will be able to see my handsome face. What a lucky girl she is!!!! Actually, I am the lucky one. She is so understanding of all of this and she encourages me whenever I talk to her. She is my strength and when I feel homesick, she cures me of it, just hearing her voice can clear up a bad day for me.

Zak's query is:

Are the students there smarter than American Students, as the rumors suggest?

Well, Zak, they are more active in the process of learning. However, they are not taught the same here as in the States. They are not taught to problem solve nor are they encouraged to ask questions in the classrooms at their normal schools. They are involved in so many side activities, Science Academies, Math Academies, English Academies, Tae-Kwon-Do, and various other 'Hak Wans', that they are spread thin on time and are pushed. American students have this kind of stuff, but they do it for extra-curricular activities and because they want to. Most of the students here, have no choice in the matter.

Tiffany's question is:

How was your Thanksgiving over-seas?
Another day. I actually worked and went home. Nothing special. No turkey, no stuffing, no sweet potatoes, no sleeping on the couch, and my brother took over the slicing of the turkey at home. It's about time, i have been doing it for 20 years. His turn.

So have you made friends over there to hang out with?
See above answer!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jane's requisition is:

How do you like teaching the kids?
I love it. They test me and challenge me on a daily basis. It's what I wanted to do and I am doing it!!!!

Chris is grilling me about:

Have you been out drinking much or in the confines of a safe place?
Most places here are safe, but just like any place, you have to be smart and not put yourself in a 'position', I believe I have made the right decisions. Seoul is relatively a safe place. Crime is LOW and people don't bother each other too much.

Do they have any other type of food besides chicken?
Yes, lots of stuff. I had a stuffed tortilla of beef and lamb last night from a Turkish place and it was GOOOD!!!! Lots of seafood and cook-it-yourself places. They bring you the food and there is a grill at your table and you do it at your leisure. It is a fun way to dine out!!!!

Do they have Mexican food over there?
Yes, they do and as soon as I am done with this, I am heading out for a burrito. I will report back.

How about some pizza?
LOTS of Pizza places. They love their pizza here and it isn't too bad. they put corn on it and it comes with a side of sweet pickles.

I am waiting to see that whiskey bar...
Well, I have found that next whiskey bar:
Show me the way To the next whiskey bar Oh don't ask why Oh don't ask why

Susie insists on knowing:

Wanna smile in the morning?
I smile EVERY morning. I am a lucky boy and I have great friends, a great job, great family and great support.

Are you done with your holiday shopping?
Well, I get a reprieve, as I am meeting y'all in Hawai'i, so it can wait until after the first of the year, as I am bringing gifts with me!!!

Did you buy a PS3 for $5?
NO. I wouldn't and I won't. Contrary to popular belief, they are not that much cheaper over here than the States.

Is it wrong to want to get drunk and go sledding at 9:00AM?
NEVER. Absolutely not. In fact, I encourage it. Nothing like hot chocolate and peppermint schnapps to start the day. You know I would be doing that, if I could.

Have you found any good Mexican?
I found a place that a 20 minute subway ride, i am debating whether or not I want to do that right now.

BBQ?
Um, NO. I wouldn't even want to damage my taste buds.

Gavin is desperately wanting to know:

Have you talked to Dave and Kim lately?
Who? I used to know a couple by that name, but I do not think they exist anymore. Call Anderson Erickson and have them put on a milk carton. Besides, YOU are closer and YOU have their number. Try calling.

Andy begs the question:

How's the KFC?
Um, wouldn't know. Don't care and I wish they would all close down.

Chuck's Special wants to increase in knowledge with these questions:

Have you eaten any good Eel soup, yet? Stew? Eel meatloaf? Eel Taco? Eel Burrito?
No. No. No. No. And No. I do, however see them in tanks outside of shops, they are for sale and people do buy them.

Carolynn wants me to tell her:

Did they have a big party at Jalapenos for you?
It wasn't AT Jalapenos, it was at Flo's and I vaguely remember being there. I was showered with gifts, beer, and tequila. A good time was had by all. I think. I hope. No one got arrested, no one got sick, at Flo's at least, and Debby, Gavin, Susie and I somehow made it to the MU/KSU football game the next day.

So. That's it for today's version of the mailbag. Great questions, folks. There are some inquisitive people out there, starving for answers and knowledge. Keep it up.

On a side note:

I bought "For Whom the Bell Tolls," the other day and I believe it to be censored. If you have a copy. Please e-mail me. I would like to discuss it and find out IF it censored. I am not happy about it, but it isn't stopping me from reading it. Vonnegut had BETTER NOT BE censored or Axton will FREAK out.

Good day and stay classy and thanks for stopping by, but stay classy and thanks for stopping by............but, mostly, stay classy AND thanks for stopping by...................

For those of you who thought this was going to be a daily journal of my life and what I see, I apologize.
I tend to look at the world a little different and have all of these thoughts racing through my mind.
So, I write these outlandish stories, with a *twinge* of truth. Mostly untrue, but they make me laugh.
If you have been offended, sorry about that.
If you have stopped your kids from reading, sorry about that, too.
So, gather the kiddies, it's a 'non-story' time.

Yesterday, the new teacher and I headed out for Jamsil. The COEX is there and it's one of the biggest shopping malls you are ever going to see. It's surrounded by hotels, department stores, and convention space. It's a pretty modern area, south of the Han River. On our way over there, we saw the sign for the Baseball Stadium, so we decided to get off the subway and check it out. The LG Twins and the Doosan Bears play there, it's a nice stadium from the outside. We were unable to go in, as it was Sunday and there was not anybody around. So, we head around it, seeing what else there was to it and what did we happen upon? The Olympic Stadium and complex. The 1988 Seoul Games were held there and it is an impressive set-up. The baseball stadium is in the front, with the main stadium directly behind it. To the left was the basketball arena and a multi-purpose building. Quite the scene, considering, we weren't even trying to get to there yesterday. The stadium looks more than 20 years old and from what we could see from the outside, the seats go straight up, there seems to be no incline. I am going to see about a tour and see for myself, but that will come at another time.
The pictures will posted on the web album soon, so hold your horses!!!!!!
So we head towards the COEX after spending a good hour around the stadium walking around. On our way we find Montana's, an alpine feeling bar right in the 'Uptown' area, or that's what two ladies told us when we were standing on the corner across from the COEX.
From there, we went to COEX and I am here to tell you, The Plaza, Town Center, and The Mall of America (NOT The Great Plains Mall (?)) have NOTHING on this place. It's underground and it blows all THREE combined, away.
Ladies.
You would loooooooooove it.
Guys.
A-V-O-I-D it.
I have never seen anything like it. It was crazy in there, people everywhere, going all different directions at once, signs leading to nowhere (or at least seemed to be) and food courts, every hundred feet.
You name it, they have it.
I did come across a pretty cool bookstore, Bandi & Lunis, but it did not have the 'feel' of a bookstore, too much activity, but it did have a good English section, so I will be going back, soon.
The best place I have been to, yet, was the computer area in Yangsul. It is a Microcenter/CompUSA/B.E.Tek/Circuit City/Best Buy all rolled into one HUGE market.
Inside, outside, below, above, beside, and across the street. If you cannot find it, you don't need it.
The prices are dirt cheap, but you have to shop around and compare, it's worth the time. And I didn't even make it across the street to see the E-Mart. This place was crazy for the do-it-yourselfers of the computer world, fans, motherboards, RAM (which i bought 2 Gig for less than $240), pirated software, pirated DVDs/CDs, and everything else under the sun.
If I was so inclined, I could build a tower for less than $200, but I don't want to.......maybe......NO!!!!
I have to be strong. There were a ton of sellers and buyers, there is nothing to compare it to in the USA. The closest thing would be a Flea Market and it still wouldn't explain it.
On Monday, I was introduced to Jongo 3(sam)-ga. An artsy area which is pretty cool. We went the back way in and it opened up in front of me and the site was comparable to Weston, only 50 times bigger and a heckuva lot cheaper. Paper is the big thing here, quality paper to wrap gifts in and hang on the wall.
Tuesday, I went to Gwanghwamun, as I was informed they have a pretty good bookstore. Yes, they do. For Koreans. Who knew so many books were in Korean or translated into Korean. The English section was small, but I found "For Whom the Bell Tolls" by Ernest Hemingway (former Crime reporter for The Star) and "Palm Sunday" by Kurt Vonnegut (yeah, I know, another Vonnegut book?? I love him, try him, you will too).
I am doing my best to take as many pictures as I can, before the battery runs down. I have drained it twice, so far, but never in a bad spot. I will be updating Seoul Shots, soon, I PROMISE. Too many pictures to upload, it is quite crazy. I look like a tourist and I feel like one at times.
Yes.
There are many signs, you should all know that by now. But I am trying to get Cityscapes and any other things interesting.
I will keep everyone updated as to my adventures and keep an eye out, I will be starting a new blog, which will consist of nothing but my far-fetched ramblings. If you want to read them, do. If not, DON'T.
The mailbag is coming soon, but not too soon, not too many of you ask questions.
Libby?
Alexis?
Emily?
Abbey?
Katie?
Mrs. Burns? (you e-mail and reply, I just wanted to put your name here to make you feel important. I know you feel bad, since my lousy Fantasy Football team kept yours out of the playoffs.)
I am calling some of you out.
Just drop a line and I will reply.
Just ask the inquisitive Bernie and Gramma Pat, it only takes a minute of your time and I actually reply.
Gramma Cathy, I will add you question to the next go 'round.
I would answer Grampa Ed's questions, but I am not even sure he knows I exist.
As for my 'blood' Gramma, she is blown away at the fact I put my pictures on the Internet.
I Love You, Gramma, I will see you soon.

I fought it off.
As long as I could.
It didn’t work, as I woke up in the morning and I could not get it out of my head.
What good would resisting be?
Resistance is futile.
I just couldn’t get it out of my head.
You know what I mean; it’s there, hanging over your head, teasing you. Fight it off.
Not possible and I am only human, although, I like to think of myself as more.
Even Batman has his weakness. He can die, he too, is human.
I tried to talk myself out of it and just when I thought I could; my mind would go back to it.
I even made it as far as the subway station, fighting, fighting, and getting weaker.
Then, I could not take it anymore.
Yes.
I had the BK’s.
WHAT?!?!?! I hardly ate there when I was at home, but I had the itch.
Hayden Fry always says to “Scratch where it itches.”
So I did.
I stood at the top of the longest set of stairs in my life, they kept going and going and going down. No end to them at all.
I was on a mission.
Immigration ain’t got nuthin’ on me. I plod past the group of Koreans, all of them giving me the look. I must have been growling and making weird sounds, because they all moved away.
OR.
Maybe there was a story about me in the newspaper, which I would not be able to understand anyway, detailing my wonderful foreigner exhibition..
Do you have any idea how long it takes for the train to arrive? Huh? Well, it took F-O-R-E-V-E-R. (Say that like Squints in “The Sandlot”).
What the metric scale for time? Pat?
Pacing.
Growling.
Foaming at the mouth.
Stomping.
Remind me to apologize to the little kid, he didn’t deserve it.
Finally, the train to Heaven and beyond. I could taste it. Again, WHY? Because Max’s Auto diner isn’t here. Because Winstead’s blocked my e-mail and won’t answer my international collect calls. Because The Westport Flea Market just won’t act. Because any of the better burger joints don’t want to expand the horizons. NOT cool.
I know, I know, there a bunch of burger places here. There are. I have seen them. I wanted BK.
The transfer was ugly. I took the 5-Line (HA!!! I sound Native now. OK not too Native, but at I sound like I know what the hell I am talking about.) to the 6-line.
I stepped out of the train, yelling, “WHERE IS THE 6-LIIIIIIINE????????”
Again, people ran and cowered.
People. Hmpf.
The transfer went smooth, only 4 people were hurt in the mêlée. I sent flowers to the hospital room, but I don’t know if they went to Bongwasan or Banghwa. I guess I’ll never know.
It stopped.
The train has stopped. And that’s when the old basketball elbows came back. I start elbowing my way out of the train, one poor guy was just about off and got elbowed back into the subway car, he ended up having to ride the subway for a while. For those of you who have looked, the 6-line circles at the end and starts back. He was unconscious, so he had to ride it around the loop..
ITAEWON.
Yes, Foreigner Central.
I, too, for the moment, was a foreigner. That poor German never knew what hit him as I burst up the stairs, turning around 360 degrees to get my bearings. I actually went 540, because I went past it during my pirouette.
There it was, big ENGLISH sign—American isn’t a language. At least, I don’t think it is……
Beautiful. I knew what I wanted, I didn’t even have to look at the menu, but I did anyway.
I couldn’t even see the menu, I didn’t care. I was waiting for the American to hurry up and make his stupid order. I mean, what’s the deal? He gets the same thing in Paris, Frankfurt, and Calcutta. OK, maybe not Calcutta, but you get the idea.
At last, he gets out of my way. It must have been me grabbing his jacket and throwing him out of my way. My favorite tactic of persuasion, the obvious “Get out of my way”!!!
The girl behind the counter stepped back and asked me if I was ready to order.
“Are you talking to me?” I asked, as the American was standing up, brushing himself off.
“Yes, sir, I am!!!”
“Um, yeah, I am ready, I am standing here, aren’t I”
“Uh, yes, you are.”
“Enough with the small talk, Hon, I want a #1 with cheese and NO Mayo.”
“Number 1 with cheese?’
“NO Mayo!!!!”
“No Mayo.”
“Yes, I do not want ANY Mayo on my Whopper® with cheese.”
‘No mayo.”
“What, is there an echo? I said it THREE times!!!!!” I exclaimed, as I grabbed her shirt and pulled her to me.
“No mayo, sir,” she replied, sounding like Gollum.
I had part of her throat, too, I kinda felt bad about that.
For a second.
This was taking too long. I had half a notion to get back there and do it myself. I mean, look at some of the jokesters who have and still work in the BK’s around you. Although it is considered a good job in Korean.
IT AIN’T THAT HARD. Most of the work is done for you.
I requested a Coke with my Whopper®, they don’t have Pepsi at BK here. That’s just not right.
I waited and waited and waited. Finally, 5 minutes later, it came to the counter. My Coke was in a real cup, real plastic (No, I didn’t steal it; I’ll do that next time). I had the tray in hand, shaking.
I spilled some of the Coke on a French person’s shoes.
What are they going to do about it? I didn’t see any British around to come to their rescue.
I noticed a seat, in the window, but I had to remove the Italian lady from it, while I was muttering something about her embassy and being chased away from it.
Fascists.
So, I push her chicken sandwich and salad in a cup to the floor and take up my spot in the window.
I was overlooking a busy corner, great spot. I could see a ton of stuff going on.
I took off my coat, told the Italian Lady to quit crying, and snapped my neck and popped my knuckles.
I was pleased. I had a craving and I was feeding the crave.
I stood up to stretch my legs, kicked the Italian lady’s purse out of my way and exclaimed, ‘I GOT MINE!!!!”
Now I was ready. So ready, I took a picture.
I was at home. The fries were even cold.
Shaking, I unwrapped my Whopper® and looked for Mayo, fully willing to take it back to the counter and start a brawl.
No Mayo.
LUUUUUUCKY.
Brown lettuce, a drop of ketchup, grainy tomato, flimsy bun, decent sized hamburger patty, and no freakin’ mustard. Oh, well. I took my first bite.
Orgasmic.
I am a TRUE American.
So, I am chewing my hamburger, loudly, I might add and what do I see?
A red and yellow jacket.
Yep, red and yellow. Coming my way.
What’s the first thing to pop into your head?
Mine, too.
A CHIEFS jacket.
In SOUTH KOREA.
Go away Americans.
So I see the guy getting closer and it turns out we are right, I get all fired up and stand on my stool and pound on the glass.
“CHIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEFS!!!!!!!!”
The guy, startled, looks at me.
At this point, I am doing the Tomahawk Chop, “AAAAAAAAAH AH AAAAAAAH AH!!!!”
And then I start screaming, “Chiefs and Chopper! Chiefs and Chopper! Chiefs and Chopper!”
The guy flips me off and continues to walk.
I go back to my Whopper® and fries.
Do you have any idea how many fries you can shove into your mouth?
Neither do I, I lost count at 50.
As I am sitting there in all of my glory, I take the time to soak BK up, with the décor of the 50’s and 60’s of which includes: pictures of Audrey Hepburn (never a bad thing), pictures from scenes from various movies, black and white floor tiles, stools on chrome, nostalgia dripping from the ceiling, and AWFUL K-Pop. The only thing missing was a picture of Janet Leigh getting slashed in “Psycho”.
There was no sight of the paying Muslim.
The streets were teeming with people, foreigners and Koreans, alike, but it was the foreigners who were the most fun to watch, as they think they own the place.
Case in point, a guy is walking his two dogs down the sidewalk--crowded with lunchtime population, no less—and he’s not giving an inch. I mean TWO dogs in the middle of Itaewon, at NOON?!?!?!?! (I was waiting for him to let the dogs relieve themselves on the street, “Good Boy Rover, Good Boy Spot!!”) You guessed, an American. How did I know this? Would any other citizen of any other country walk around thinking they own the place? The Brits don’t count.
So as I finishing up my lunch, I am finishing up my little game I am playing, called “This little foreigner went…...” as in “This little piggy went…..” -- I don’t know if you had an Aunt Hazel, but I did and she played “This little piggy….” with my feet until I was at least 15.
So, anyway.
“This little foreigner went to Starbucks, this little foreigner stepped in my way, this little foreigner had BK, this little foreigner had none, and this little foreigner got taken for all of his money by the street vendors and cried all the way back to the States!!!!”
So now, I have to get to work.
Priorities.
My belly full.
And I have been an American in Itaewon, if only for a moment.
I am ecstatic of my journey and the knowledge I can be a little boy and go to BK , anytime I want.
Just keep the Italians out of my way.
The subway ride home wasn’t too bad, my reputation has been growing.
Little old ladies get up to offer me their seats, mothers want me to kiss their babies, men want to shake my hand, and the teenage girls scream and faint every time I approach.
I am more popular than The Beatles.
And if they were popular than Jesus Christ, then you know what that means.

Salesmen.
We all love them.
I know I want to buy and umbrella for 20,000 Won.
I want a knee brace for a couple billion Won.
I want to have the free entertainment which comes along with the ‘Subway Salesman’.
This poor guy on the way home from Foreigner Central, he was funny, I think, but most of all, he took the attention away from me.
Knee braces, back braces, and elbow braces.
OH, MY!!!!!!!The whole spiel.Nobody is paying attention.
A crowd of people turned away.
But I just had to look
All of a sudden, the newspaper is the most intriguing thing they have ever read.
All of a sudden, they have to make a phone call.
Dancing around on one leg, pulling the pant leg up to show off the knee brace, pulling up the sweater/shirt combo to show off the back brace, and showing off the elbow brace.
Quite impressive, a talented guy, wasting his talent on the subway, when he could be in “The Full Monty”, which is playing somewhere in Seoul, I know this because the ads are everywhere.
My ride is coming to an end.
The 538 stop.
I have to get off, I came here to teach, so I have to get to the school shortly, but oh, I would love to sit and watch this guy sell and sell, to no one!!!
I push him out of my way and make it through the door, just before it closes.
Then I realize I have to walk UP those same stairs I walked DOWN.

I hate BK.